A box of mineolas landed on my doorstep yesterday. When I saw the big white box with the words “Fresh Florida Citrus” touted out in orange and green upon the side my first thought was “fuck.” As in, “what am I going to do with four trays of oranges?” I’m a Florida farmer’s daughter – […]
Monthly Archives: January 2008
Randoms, 012908
WWE Monday Night Raw – I’m seriously sick of mister-financial-tycoon, fatty JBL. He’s a cheating doo-doo face and someone needs to give him what-for (whatever the hell that means)! I’m also on the “I Despise Randy Orton” bandwagon but even a good lemming like me felt sorry for that schmuck after what JBL pulled last […]
“… and I’m hoping that they’ll ratify me!”
Florida Property Taxes – Analysis of Amendment #1 – this blog entry by an Orlando area Realtor offers a pretty simple and fair breakdown of Florida Amendment 1 which we in the Sunshine State are going to the polls on today. Unbiased property tax amendment review – and written by a REALTOR?!?! Props to that […]
“… permit us to be pirates.”
It’s no secret that I’m extremely nostalgic. My emotional-mind can bend almost any happening into a feeling of homesickness. So, as I sat on my living room floor making perfectly lovely flower arrangements for a party, I wasn’t at all surprised when tears welled in my eyes and a prickly lump formed in my throat. […]
SPAM Subject Line of the Day
“Watch your thing getting bigger day by day!” Obviously the sender is not talking about my penis because, a) I do not have one and b) no one over the age of 5 refers to a penis as “thing.” There are a lot of “things” in my life that seem to get bigger day by […]
This Is Me Afraid
I’d been craving that Guinness I had sitting in the fridge all day. As I drove home from my fun-job tonight and saw the lightning crashing around I knew just how I’d enjoy it – sitting on the porch, smoking kreteks and sipping it as my dessert. I live in the lightning capital of North […]
Randoms, 012108
A few random thoughts that are floating around in my gourd this evening. Everyone on earth loves Alton Brown, right, or am I just the king of the nerds? Don’t answer that. Perhaps it’s because he’s a drama nerd (educated at the same university my brother attends – UGA) … but I think the reason […]
I Know a Thing Or Two About a Thing or Two
I am (oh, so modestly) a jack of all trades – or as it was called in old-school geek code – a geek of all trades. There are a few subjects where I can offer knowledge that should at least (to turn a phrase into something to turn a stomach) be taken under advisement as […]
FOCUS!: A Rant About People Who Want to Hurt My Evo
I recently got my beloved daily driver back from the body shop. Fortunately for my frequent passengers (I like to refer to you as “navigators” as the world is my rally) you’re already used to my parking decisions – because this experience certainly did not render me any less neurotic about where I leave my […]
Mayor Dangleschlong
Alright, friends. That’s it! Not only is it time for a new state song but it’s also time for a new state shape joke. We get it, kids, Florida, for some odd reason, reminds you of male genitalia. Perhaps it’s that we are ALSO a one-eyed monster (yes, I’m talking about Lake Okeechobee). Perhaps, even, […]