Denise

A photograph of Denise wearing a garishly colored shirt.

Denise wearing a garishly colored shirt.

About Denise

I had the unfortunate luck of being born with an Oakland face and an L.A. booty.  Luckily, I’m from Tampa, and people here don’t really notice that kind of thing.

I’m currently attempting to break the world record for number of times someone has forcefully slammed their head into the boom on their own boat.  If they would just count the spinnaker pole as well, I know I’d have it wrapped up.

I’m not as interesting as I used to be, which is fine, since I surround myself with people who say funny things that I can post about.

My partner is straight edge, and I used to be, too, but now I’m just thirty.  I’m also a vegetarian, but I will not be providing a link defining that word, as it might frighten some of our younger viewers.

The only real knowledge I have to impart is this: never tell a guy from New York that you just don’t understand what’s so damn special about the place.  Even if you really don’t.  If you tell him this, you will have to listen to his accent for longer than necessary, and that’s not good.

For the record, there is nothing special about where I come from, either.  Seriously.  Don’t move here.  It’s terrible.

I’m a real, live Floridian, from the swamps of Ruskin on the southeastern shore of Tampa Bay.  We natives used to be rare, but you all keep moving here and starting families.

I pretty much like to talk about anything.  To the point of being extremely annoying.  I am apparently considered qualified by a decently relevant organization to speak on the subjects of English language and Musical Theatre.  My professional experience leaves me able to contribute to conversations about sports, venue management, broadcast and live event production, as well as information technology.  My nerdy hobbies get me into conversations about amateur radio, boats and sailing, performance cars, dystopian literature, traffic and road systems, and hockey.  I really wish I could be talking about astrophysics.  I guess I could, but, If I were you, I wouldn’t believe anything I said about the red shift.

Click here for “Retro Denise,” the pre-2009 about me page.

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