ST. PETERSBURG, FL – A potential crisis was averted when this journalist uncovered proof that Winn Dixie’s Thrifty Maid ramen noodles are actually manufactured by Nissin Foods, the Japanese corporation responsible for the Top Ramen and Cup Noodles brands. College students and community college students alike felt a shared sense of loss when the Top Ramen Oriental flavor suddenly went missing from Bay Area stores this spring. “It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced,” said one self-professed “typical ramen noodle eating consumer.”
The Oriental flavor is particularly sought after for several reasons. The flavor is one of the very few with a completely vegetarian seasoning packet, which makes it very popular among tree-hugging hippies. Others claim that their love for the noodles in the blue plastic stems from a much more important cause: JDM-ness.
Whatever the reason for any particular nerd’s dedication, the disappearance of the Oriental flavor created quite the stir in some places, so the news that these noodles could still be had was universally well received. “I didn’t even know Winn Dixies were still around,” said me, when I read that they had my damn noodles. “Does this mean I have to drive to Pinellas Park, now?”
The noodle rebranding conspiracy was uncovered when this reporter got desperate and actually tried to find an answer to her problem instead of crying in her closet for hours on end. After entering countless search terms into Google’s search engine, I found a 2007 recall notice for Top Ramen shrimp flavored ramen noodles which also listed the Winn Dixie brand as a co-potentially-deadly foodstuff. Upon locating a Winn Dixie Supermarket (see previous Pinellas Park assumption), I was delighted to find a shelf full of Thrifty Maid Oriental ramen noodles. I am happy to report that they come with the exact same flavor packet as the Top Ramen, and have the same moshi-moshi-arigato-kawaii flavor as well.
This reporter has also been informed that Aldi supermarkets carry a rebranded Nissin line, but she finds standing in bread lines to be so 1980s, so she won’t be confirming this just yet.